Newsletters

It's All About the Attitude

August

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

How’s your day going?

Struggle and pain occur in our lives, we can’t stop it, but we can choose how we respond to it.

We’ve all been there. Sometimes it’s a series of small things and other times it’s one big thing. We’ve experienced them before, and we will experience them again. Sometimes we can look back and laugh at them, but others – not so much. But when we are in the heat of the moment, the fender bender, the spilled coffee, the delayed meal at the restaurant that then shows up wrong, the messed-up assignment at work by a co-worker, the drawing on the wall by your child or destruction of a family heirloom by your beloved pet, we have a choice to make. Do we let this define the trajectory of the rest of our day?

Yes, these things can be an inconvenience, and sometimes worse. But the majority of these will probably be forgotten in five years (if not sooner).

It is not unnatural to have negative thoughts pop into your mind as a situation unravels, but it’s what you do next that counts. Do you dwell on those negative thoughts and foster more of them, or do you make the conscious decision to push them out of your mind for something better?

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” John C Maxwell

Trying to shift to positive thoughts amid a struggle is not easy. And I’m not suggesting you should be jumping up and down shouting ‘give me more’ amid a struggle. Positive does not have to be overjoyed.

Some of you are dealing with more serious issues. Maybe you are between jobs struggling to land the next one. It’s easy to become demoralized when facing repeated rejection or being ghosted after interviews. As tough as this situation can be, do you think taking a negative approach to it will result in landing your next job?

Can’t we just wallow in our self-pity? What’s the problem with that?

Who wants to be around a Negative Nelly

I’m reminded of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. If you split people into ‘glass half full’ and ‘glass half empty’ groups, Eeyore would fall into the category, “oh well, my glass has a hole and it’s empty and why bother cause the next one will have a hole as well, I’m sure.”

Nobody wants to be around someone that acts like Eeyore all the time. Good friends will recognize when you are having a down day and circle around you and help you get through it. But if every day is a down day, they are eventually going to become exhausted providing full-time support week after week. They are going to want to enjoy life and the Eeyore in the group is preventing that and faced with a long-term scenario of that, the friends are going to quietly exit stage left.

“You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.” Joyce Meyer

The knee bone is connected to the thigh bone

In the children’s song, The Skeleton Dance, children learn some basics of how their bones are connected. And while it’s not a children’s song, our emotions and thoughts are connected as well.

An interesting study was performed in 2020 to determine if sincere smiling would reduce the pain of an injection. And scientists found that it did.

My non-scientific mind deduces that someone focused on the injection is going to lead their emotions to a negative place, sure of the expected pain that is to come shortly. But someone focused on sincere smiling is leading their emotions to a positive, uplifting and happy place. The result is a far better outcome for the person smiling and thinking happy thoughts.

Our thoughts set the direction for our emotions, where our thoughts go, so go our emotions, tagging along like a little brother or sister.

We may be trying hard to keep positive thoughts, but what do we do about people that cross our paths that pull us from our happy place?

When someone rains on our parade

Just as sure as the sun rises each morning, you will cross paths with rude, difficult or sometimes mean people.

In the words of agent Smith from The Matrix, “It is inevitable.”

You might even work with some of them or for one of them.

Some people reacting this way may not be intentionally directing this at you. There could be something going on in their personal life or at work and their emotions are simply spilling out everywhere.

Others may be singularly focused on a task, and some may lack social interaction skills. This group is also not intentionally being rude.

But the last group intentionally chooses to do this. They can be rude and self-centered. They may believe they are better than everyone else. They might be truly arrogant, but sometimes they are acting out because of their insecurities. Occasionally someone might act this way as a defensive mechanism because of how they were treated in the past and they would rather hurt than be hurt.

“Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength.” Eric Hoffer

What do you do when you must interact with a truly rude person on a regular basis? You cannot control how they choose to treat you. What you can control is your own emotions and response to them.

First, you must decide if you want to stoop down to their level to respond to them in kind. Or do you maintain a level of respect toward them regardless of how they are acting. How you respond and treat them is a reflection of YOUR character. Treating someone with respect when they are being rude to you shows the strength of your character.

“Insecure people put others down to raise themselves up.” Habeeb Akande

Second, you must remind yourself that what they say and how they treat you is not the de facto truth regarding you as a human being. You have value, you are important, and you are not the sum of what they say or how they treat you.

Remember that when they try to make you little, they are in fact the ones that are little, not you.

Maintaining a positive attitude is not always easy and doesn’t guarantee success in and of itself. But you can’t go back once the day is over. What type of memories do you want to have of your day? And if you did have a bad day, do you want to continue it into the next?

What did you miss out on today because you let a situation or person steer you into negative territory? Playing with your child, laughing with a friend, enjoying nature on a walk, time with family or something else you enjoy.

You choose.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© 2024 Rise & Guide